Kiss From a Rose
by Darris
Summary: After deciding to be with Kikyou and let Kagome, Inuyasha rethinks what he wish he could say to her...


This one is dedicated to the one who did Kagome's Line in 'Don't Speak'. I liked very much, and I imagined Inuyasha's answer like this...  
  
  
  
Kiss from a Rose (Seal)  
  
"There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea"  
  
So long, I was alone. No one dared to fight me, I was feared... but alone. I could pretend it didn't bother me, but it wasn't truth. In fact, even I know that no one could stand that way.  
  
When she came, I felt different. I couldn't be near, although I felt we were together. Until the day I was put asleep, for a very long time, when I had to endure a dark, ominous dream where the one who I trusted on betrayed me and trapped our feelings on an arrow, and I felt I would never trust again.  
  
I was a fool. I knew that. But I would take my venegance and I'd have my treasure again. But there was something I didn't expect. There was a change. You were in stead of her. First, I could kill you. You were so much like her. I promised myself I wouldn't fall again, I wouldn't trust you again, but it's hard to keep a closed heart all the time, specially when there's someone caring about you.  
  
"You became the light on the dark side of me"  
  
Your smile... why was it so important for me? Why did it touch me? Why I'm not myself anymore?  
  
I couldn't tell you that. That's not my line. But I felt it. Every time you were in danger, I knew that was because of me. Every time I agreed with you, I didn't want... but I couldn't refuse after looking to your shining eyes. Every time I said I didn't care about you... it meant I was so worried that I couldn't express.  
  
"Love remained a drug that's the high not the pill"  
  
All the time you had to leave, and all the time I didn't want you leaving... But how could I say that? Not again! You were different, but... it was almost the same. The only difference I could see was a kind of light, a special feeling. I could even smile by your side...  
  
"But did you know that when it snows  
  
My eyes becomes large  
  
And the light that you shine can't be seen?"  
  
No, I couldn't avoid. All the feelings I had for her were still there. The only thing I didn't tell you was that... the ones I had for you were stronger. But how could I say I didn't care what happened to her? It was my fault, too! I was responsible! If I said I didn't care, I wouldn't deserve her love. And neither yours. That's why, when she returned, I stayed with her, Kagome. It was my obligation, I couldn't avoid... but don't think that's what I really wish.  
  
  
  
"(Baby)  
  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
  
Ooo the more I get of you the stranger it feels yeah"  
  
Do you really believe that I only cared about the jewel? Maybe once, but not anymore.  
  
Every time my mind sets on not seeing you again, I feel empty.  
  
That's a feeling, an enemy, that no strike from Tetsusaiga could beat, even if I drove it to my heart. Every moment and every thought I have, I wish to be with you... and, at the same time, I can imagine your eyes becoming full of disappointment about me, either if I stay with her, or with you. There's no easy escape, this time... and you can't help me, as usual. It's not easy for me, either, and I try to get my decision thinking that you'll be better without me. No more monsters, no more dangers... no more enemies. Only your normal life back, as you wished for so long. And, maybe, since we can return in another life... maybe I can find you again, when I leave.  
  
"Now that your rose is in bloom  
  
A light hits the gloom on the grey"  
  
For the first time in my life, I can admit, at least to myself, that there's something... someone... who I really care about.  
  
"There is so much a man can tell you  
  
So much he can say"  
  
I wish I could have told you that before. And that this light you brought me makes a huge difference. You'll always be my first one, even if I can't tell you yet. Why do we must be always separated from each other?  
  
"You remain my power my pleasure my pain (baby)"  
  
How much times would I've been killed without you? How many chances I would have had if you were not there for me? We laughed together, we fought together, we bleed together... We're united, in a way no one can separate. Maybe I'm not a man from your time, but I can tell you how do I feel it, and that's more important for me than anything. You were my power when I was weak, my pleasure all the times we talked... and my pain everytime I saw you suffering.  
  
"To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny  
  
Won't you tell me is that healthy babe"  
  
The most I see you, the most I need you around. I wish I could say this kind of things easily, but I don't have this on me. In fact, it bothers me sometimes. Why are you so special? I never needed anyone before, until you come with your smile. Why do you smile to me? What can you see that even I can't? If it depended on me, I would have a long time to get used to that, and I would try to understand it. To understand why you're like this...  
  
  
  
"But did you tell me is that when it snows  
  
My eyes become large  
  
And the light that you shine can't be seen"  
  
Now it's snowing again. I see the gorgeous flower blooming again. Once more, I have Kikyou here.  
  
I longed for this for so much time... I should say that nothing else matters, and everything's OK now. But, if that's the truth... why do I feel so empty? Why, for the first time, instead of looking to you and seeing her, I look to her and see you?  
  
"(Baby)  
  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
  
Ooo the more I get of you the stranger it feels yeah"  
  
And I don't think this will ever change. I don't think I want it changes, either. But I can't let her go again. Try to understand...  
  
I wish I could be as I used to be. So, I wouldn't care for anything but myself. So, I would be happy to have my first love again. And I would forget that...  
  
"I've been kissed by a rose on the grey"  
  
And I wouldn't feel so miserable.  
  
"I've been kissed by a rose on the grey"  
  
And now it draws me to you again and again.  
  
"(If I should fall)"  
  
this could have been faster, for you and for me. We shouldn't endure this distance from each other. All I wish now, so far away from you, is to hold you again, to protect you again... at least, to see your smile again. I can't bear the feeling. Everytime I remeber you now, I only can see you crying. That's not what should be, because...  
  
"I've been kissed by a rose on the grey"  
  
and I don't want to forget what it made me feel.  
  
"I've been kissed by a rose on the grey"  
  
and I want it again. The same addiction, the same quarrels, the same fights... I want everything back.  
  
"There is so much a man can tell you  
  
So much he can say  
  
But the first thing to me to say is 'I'm sorry', even if I'm not used to. I've always kept my hard figure all the time, even when I knew I was wrong and you were right, because I couldn't say this. You've told me once that we were meant to meet. I don't know about this... but I know it made me happier than I would ever think.  
  
"You remain my power my pleasure my pain (baby)  
  
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny  
  
Won't you tell me is that healthy babe"  
  
Because I won't believe you. I still feel stronger when I think I have to take care of you... and then I remeber I can't anymore. I still smile when I remeber all the things we did together... and then, I remember we won't be together again. I still suffer when I remember your crying eyes, so different from the smile that I love, and this suffering takes away the best of me. And I promise myself I won't think about you again... just to realize, minutes later, that I'm looking to her and comparing her with you, and I usually smile when I think: "If Kagome was here, she probably would..."  
  
  
  
"(Baby)  
  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey  
  
Ooo the more I get of you the stranger it feels yeah"  
  
I'll stay with her. That's the better. This way, I'm protecting you two for one more time... I'm saving her from herself... and I'm saving you from her. Even if you have to cry, and I have to feel my heart ripped by my own hand. That's my decision...  
  
"Now that your rose is in bloom  
  
A light hits the glom on the grey"  
  
Now I look to the starry night. Now I breathe the fresh air of the Sengoku Jidai. And now, I look to the moon and see your face again, and I try hard to remember your smile. And this brings a smile to my face, too.  
  
'... I wish you were here with me, Kagome... to see this moon...' 


End file.
